| 1. A married lady,who is not properly trained in the art of cooking,is asked by her husband to prepare some boiled eggs for him.And having put the eggs on fire,she adds salt and other cooking ingredients to make them delicious. But the end product is a mess. | ||||||
| 2. A young lady was in a church where the pastor prophesied that God would visit them all at the points of their needs.Shortly after the church hours,Immanuel,which is interpreted to mean"God with us" came calling with a shopper's bag filled with goods. | ||||||
| 3. A man who is desperately looking for a woman to be married,places an advert in the daily newspaper; and it reads thus:"Applications are invited from women of any class who know how to make money and not how to spend money!" Ha! Ha!! Ha!!! | ||||||
| 4. A young man went to visit an old lady who was just recovering from malaria ill-health. Having sat for sometime,he stood up;paced the room and declared his intention to leave. Shortly afterwards, a drama unfolded itself. Young man:"I have only come to see you, out of love for you!" Old lady:" I am happy my God has shown me one of my enemies." |
||||||
| 5. A man who has self-trained himself in the act of public speaking was invited to give a lecture in one of the university campuses in the United States of America.He left a deep educational impression on the minds of the listeners who were from different walks of life,during the lecture.Shortly after the lecture,on getting home, he got a call from a gentleman who wanted to know which alma-mater he attended.And the following dialogue ensued: Question:"Hey,what was your alma-mater?" Lecturer:"Hey,my alma-mater was and still is "books"!" |
||||||
| 6. An atheist was invited to deliver a lecture on his beliefs.He mounted the rostrum and did justice to the subject,and while descending the rostrum he,having proved beyond doubts his beliefs,slipped and nearly fell over and cried to the hearing of the audience:"Oh,my God!" | ||||||
| 7. A young chemistry student had inadvertently placed his chemistry notebook in a pool of palm oil to the extent that the pages were soaked with it,and subsequently turned yellowish.As he sat in the chemistry class,the following dialogue ensued between him and his teacher. Teacher:"What makes your book pages turn yellowish in colour?" Student:"Sir,this is just a practical demostration of what we have been taught in the class.They have only undergone oxidation as a chemical phenomeon. |
||||||
| 8. Two women,one wise and the other foolish;met in a marketplace and started to discuss their husbands.The dialogue is as follows: First woman:" Darling has just given me $500 to buy all my needs!" And the other woman was downcast and she thought to herself. Second woman:"I am going to fight darling today for having failed to meet my needs." |
||||||
| 9. At the launching of a biographical book of a multi-millionaire,his mother was asked to make a speech and she started thus:"This man whose biography is launched today is a product of an unwanted sex,which today,is termed as an act of rape by some married women." | ||||||
| 10. Once upon a time a king was desperate to destroy the peace of God.In search for peace,he asked that kids between ages 2 and below be beheaded,but peace eventually triumphs unbeheaded. | ||||||
| 11. A man who goes by the name ,"Immanuel" is on a distant journey to a neighbouring town to where he lives.As day gives way to dusk,all of a sudden,he becomes stranded and needs some help.He looks for help with a woman who has been earmarked for destruction by the men of the underworld for the night.She puts him up for the night. When the robbers come,they see her with Immanuel and change their minds not to kill her,to her surprise.She never knows the meaning of Immanuel until later,when she becomes born again and is reading her bible that she sees that Immanuel means"God with us>" In her interpretation,the night Immanuel is put up with her. It is God that is putting up with her.This informs the reason why the bible says:"If God is with us,who can be against us." | ||||||
| 12. A man who has been absent from the church for sometime goes to see his pastor in the church office and the following conversation ensues: Pastor:"It is such a long time we have seen you in the church,is anything wrong?" Church member:"I do need to work hard in order to make ends meet! That is the reason you have not been seeing me in the church." Pastor:"Don't you know that you cannot serve both God and mammon together!" Church member:"Pastor ,the bible says:"Heavens help those who help themselves!"" |
||||||
| 13. A young man goes to visit his friends who live in a dilapidated house,and wants to defecate.He is shown the toilet and when he gets there he discovers that it is not suitable enough for his use and he leaves. The next time he goes there he finds himself in the same situation and wants to use the toilet again and finds that it is not in a suitable condition but he goes ahead to use it because he cannot help using it this time around. | ||||||
|